Sunday, October 29, 2006

The trenches take 2

Hey there here is some info on bedrest and the hell it is no its just a little info. I will be posting the Halloween Party photos soon. Not that anyone reading the below can do anything but hey I've tried.

Bed Resting Wife
Dear Readers, after thoroughly investigating this question I can tell you that while there are a number of things not to say to your bed resting wife or partner, the following seem particularly dangerous:

1. I wish I could stay in bed all day.

2. Why don't you sort out our finances? After all, you've got nothing better to do.

3. To be honest, I'm not all that interested in what happened on Ricki/A Baby Story/Extreme Homes today.

4. Are you putting on too much weight?

5. Sorry I didn't pick up dinner, I was too tired. Why don't we just eat cereal?

6. Oh, wait, was I supposed to organize something special for this weekend?

7. My mother and father are coming tonight.

8. How many weeks have you been on bed rest? (and then underestimate the number)

9. I can't wait until you're up and about again and can do your fair share of the chores.

10. Why did we decide to have kids in the first place?
You have been warned.

6 Most Important Things to Have by the Bed or Sofa

1. Stamps. Okay, so you can't get up to put letters and bills in the mail box, but you feel your task is so much more complete if the envelopes are sealed, the return address is written, and there's a nice shiny stamp with a birdie at the top.

2. Indigestion tablets. Never understood those ads centering people with contorted faces. So you have a bit of indigestion - bit deal! That was until I went on bed rest and my meals declined to enter my stomach in an appropriately speedy fashion.

3. Computer. Internet Explorer, or similar. Google, or similar. Yahoo groups, or similar.

4. TV remote. Leaving said remote out of my reach is grounds for divorce. Ditto for telephone.

5. Two pitchers of water plus one 12 oz glass (6 full glasses before lunch time, 6 before bed to keep blood thin and baby's fluid levels high).

6. Fully-stocked cookie tin. 'Nuff said.

Things to Do for a Woman on Bed Rest
So maybe you have a neigbor on bed rest right now, a colleague, a relative. You're busy, you have your own problems. But take a moment to think if you can manage any of the following - I guarantee they'll be much appreciated...

1. Make an extra couple of portions of whatever you're cooking and offer to take them over and slip them in the freezer. Your bed resting friend is almost certainly fed up to the back teeth of hamburger helper (or whatever it is the exhausted husband is managing to produce these days). And if you're baking cookies, take some over while they're still warm.

2. If you're going to the post office, stop by to ask if you can purchase stamps or drop off packages for the bed rester.

3. If you're near a flower stall, buy a nice bunch, take them over, and make sure you arrange them in a vase by her sofa or bed before you leave (don't expect her to do it! Remember, she can't get up to fetch the vase, let alone carry it through the house. But she'll love to have something pretty and living to look at it in her room).

4. If you have a spare ten minutes, call to ask if you can fold some laundry/take out the trash/feed the cat/pick up some milk. You don't have to offer to clean the house, but taking care of even one chore will make a huge difference to how she feels about her environment.

5. If you have a spare half hour, call and ask if she'd like some company. If she says she's napping, don't be offended. If she says she'd love to see you, bring a magazine and something yummy to eat with you. And then, whatever else you do, do NOT tell her you know how she feels (unless you've been on bed rest) and do NOT tell her she should be enjoying herself. Do NOT tell her scare stories about other women's disastrous pregnanices, but do NOT tell her she has nothing to worry about. Listen sympathetically (she doesn't hear herself speak much these days) and then tell her the funny story about the guy at work who.....
Whatever you do, don't forget that bed resting woman!

5 Most Important Things I Learned About Bed Rest

1. Most people hear 'bed rest' and think it sounds quite jolly. Ah yes, I could do with a rest too, they remark sagely. As a bed resting woman, it is your solemn duty to explain the truth (ie rant on about pressure sores, wasted muscles, shortness of breath, need for physical therapy, depression, anxiety, loss of wages, stress on family, stress on older children, etc. etc. No-one should leave your company thinking that bed rest is any kind of a summer picnic).

2. It is very, very hard indeed to go from leading an ordinary life one moment to a completely sedentary one the next. It is very, very hard to be unable to fix yourself a drink/a bowl of cereal/a four-course meal appropriate to your condition as a very hungry, very pregnant woman.

3. Bed Rest affects 750,000 women a year. That's three-quarters-of-a-million women out there, lying on their left sides, day after day after day. Who knew?

4. Few women on bed rest get physical rehabilitation when they're done. Most women go straight into motherhood -- which is no summer picnic either. And many go into motherhood after the extra trauma of surgery (ie, a C-section), which makes regaining normal movement and conditioning even more difficult.

5. Every woman I've ever spoken to has said, 'I would have done anything to help my child.' Much respect to all the bed resters out there.


JBTW said...

I wish I was there to do those things...

Suzer said...

Oh how I wish I cold bring you frozen dinners, and fold your laundry, and clean your house... I do, I do, I do. But all I can do is think of you and pray for you several times a day. I hope things get better soon. And yes, we mothers really would do anything for our children...and our friends. HUGS!

~Lori said...

I third that. Man, oh man... I knew bed rest was not fun, but I hadn't thought about half those things. My heart goes out to you sweetie. (((hugs)))