Well that's at least how this blog is turning out. Tonight I went to bed and started thinking. Where has my heart gone? Why do I feel the way I do? I am speaking of Motherhood. I am laying here thinking why did I get myself into this in the first place. I love my daughter but lately I don't like her. She is arrogant, rude, and obnoxious (she is only 4). I love her more then life its self but tonight I want to get on a train and not come home. So now I am thinking what am I going to do with another one? Do I really want to get up every two hours to feed a child that will in the end not like a thing I cook? Will I be able to handle two when I can barely handle one? Why do I feel so lost? At night I worry. I worry that I am a horrible person for wanting to leave all this behind and be child myself again. I want to be the one bouncing around happy as a lark demanding what I believe I deserve instead of being the one avoiding getting hit by a flying foot or hearing the incessant voice that never ends. Where did I go wrong why am I not loving this? Did someone forget to give me the mommy gene? I seem to have lost my humanity. If you find it, if you could please return it to me post hast I would greatly appreciate it.