Pig Farmer?

I need a hobby! I declare this because today I took to following the gardner around. She had nothing to do because I had raked the leaves and swept the porch and weeded and so on. So after following her around for 15 minutes I went into the house and sat down. I had nothing to do. So I need a hobby anyone have any suggestions? Perhaps I should be a pig farmer! Because if I don't get a hobby I may drive everyone crazy here in the land down under!

Good, Bad, I'm the guy with the gun!

Oh Army of Darkness will you ever cease to amuse me?

Our House part 1.

Our Kitchen! (oh so clean)

Our family room. Oh, yah Beardsly under the coffee table

Kitchen different angle

Family room different angle

"game room" and Izzy

Rose's playroom situated off the kitchen

Rose's Playroom different angle

Not pictured of the downstairs are three halls and a washroom and the two sets of stairs on opposite sides of the house. Upstairs photos to follow later.

Izzy

Say it ain't so Isabell

Please buy me this please!

Please buy me this. I have been ever so good. I would love you forever. I have nothing to watch on TV. This is one of my favorite shows. You know you want to buy me this. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


THE YOUNG RIDERS The Complete First Season 1 One DVD TV
Item number: 9117511428
Ebay

Observant I think not!

You know that you remembered to put on underwear today...

but that's about it.

Your Observation Skills Get A D+

How Observant Are You?

We all know how true the above statement. In our house we like to play the game "where are my keys" or "I had my sunglasses just a minute ago." I am pretty sure we have little goolies that steal my things when I am not looking and move it to some place strange like the refrigerator. So I ask you how observant are you? Cuz I can't even find the remote! Now where did that go?

Prayer for a fat women

Dear God please help me put down the donut. God help me to just say No to ice cream. Dear God when I am walking down the isle help me to have enough sense to pick up ONE package of Tim Tams. God when I am sitting infront of the TV on my great big ass help me to at least wiggle during the commercials so I can claim I got I little bit of exercise. Thanks God for listening and I will see you at the next weight in.

Okay I am looking for anyone who wants to join me in what was up until this weekend my new life plan. So what happened? Food happened. I became a maniac! I hurt my neck earlier in the week so I gave my self the night off from the gym. Then I said well I can't cook healthy food because I hurt "Liam can you bring home dinner from *fill in the blank*". So my life went on like that for 4 days and now I am paying the price. I have gained back nearly 2 weeks worth of work. I am stressed and ready give up. But I am not going to! I go the gym for an hour on Monday and Wednesday and I am going to be strict with myself this week. I was just wondering if anyone else wanted to loose a great mass of weight? I figured out that Rose is 10 pounds lighter then what I have to lose and I have a hard time picking her up so... I am walking around with a 6 year old strapped to my waist and I am ready to shed this whinny beast. So if you would like to join me leave me a note or an email and well send each other loving notes like "Hey lard ass get out of bed" and "Yes those jeans do make you look fat". Skinny people need not apply.

The Great Race

If I bop her with my belly will she notice?

Let's get this party started

I'm tired can I go home?

This is hard work

Run, forest, run!

So concludes Rose's first sports day where fun was had by all. It was a rumor around the Corinth camp that little Rose will probably be team captain in a few years.

on top of ...

"On top of spaghetti all covered with cheese nobody reads my blog and nobody cares." Everybody sing oh wait nobody is reading so I shall sing alone.

A pun or two for you

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
A backward poet writes inverse.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your Count votes.
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

2005 Darwin Awards

Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious winners. Darwin Award Winners:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked..... And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his Vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

Ghost photography

These photos are from the ghost studies website. Take a close look at the hutch and see if you don't see a little girl peering out at you.

Photos

The photos two posts below have been altered as suggested or unaltered depending on what was said. Have a look and let me know if they have improved or not. Thank you for your time

I am the Lunch Lady!

Please say the above statement as if you were standing down a large army. (I am Spartugus). I make the lunches nobody eats. I lovingly wake up early to put peanut butter with its compatriot jelly. They together are then cut on the slant for maxim enjoyment. I thrown in a cheese stick some pudding and fruit cup all just to make myself look good. Rose goes to a private school that is extremely uniform. Everything must be regulation everything but lunch. This is were I like to add a little flair a pretty napkin, leftover dinner, a purple spoon. None of this seems to matter. Most of the above comes back untouched sometimes with a bit of grass or bark and sometimes the odd bug added to the mix. Rose has the option to eat lunch outside and choices to do so often. Some evenings Liam and Rose have to search the playground just to find the wayward lunch box. The same lunch box she carried around lovingly for days forcing me to put all of her meals in just so she could "try it out". So with bitter taste in mouth I will once again wake up early to make a lunch nobody likes.

On bended knee

I am on bended knee with arms outstretched and a really goofy look on my face. Please, please, please vist my damn blog and leave me comment. I see you lurking and I love you for it. Please put me out of my misery. I sit here day after day (my only child went school and I'm a bit lost) and look for you to leave me a note. Shall I name names? No I shall not that would be rude (Jamie). *cough Keith* oh excuse me. Even if this is your first time here and your thinking to yourself gee this kinda stupid then say that. So now I am done. I will wait with baited breath for your return (comments).

Rate a photo take 2

1a.

this is an untouched version of 1

2a.

Photo has been photoshoped any improvements or worse?

1.

2.

3.

Same as before rate a photo and help me pick my portfolio.

quote

"Some people juggle geese" -Wash

Do children dream of electric sheep?

this is what I hear as I walk into Roses room tonight after I put her to bed.

Rose: 11, 12, 13

Me: Goodnight Rose.

Rose: (with eyes closed and half asleep) I'm counting sheep. 14, 15, 16, 17

Rate a photo or two

Rate the photos from

1 horrible
to
10 National Geographic quality

I don't expect 10's but this will help me when deciding what photos to add to my portfolio. Just say photo 1,2,3 when rating. I will add more photos if I don't become to discouraged. Thank you for your help!

Serenity meme

Your results:

You are Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command)

Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command) 80% Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic) 70% Wash (Ship Pilot) 65% Malcolm Reynolds (Captain) 60% Jayne Cobb (Mercenary) 60% Derrial Book (Shepherd) 60% Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic) 55% Inara Serra (Companion) 50% Alliance 45% River (Stowaway) 30% A Reaver (Cannibal) 25%

Dependable and trustworthy. You love your significant other and you are a tough cookie when in a conflict.

Click here to take the Serenity Personality Quiz

My father the optimist

My father is the eternal optimist. In 1960 he was 17 years old when he joined the US army. He was such a skinny, scrawny (underage) boy that my grandfather had to sign him up. He had to eat bananas and milkshakes to gain a few pounds to make the weight requirement. Not long after he joined Uncle Sam, that the police action broke out. He was sent over to Vietnam as apart of the 101st Airborne, a.k.a the Screaming Eagles. I know it was a frightening time for him but he made the best of his new world. He learned to scuba dive, bought semi precious stones and watched kickboxing. He even joined up for a second tour.

There is a great story about my father volunteering to go up a mountain to bring down a group of infantry men/radio team who's radio had broken and needed guided down. He went up and came back down no problem. When he got back he was asked by his commanding officer "how bad was it?" You see, without my father knowing it the hill had been taken and surrounded. He didn't see a thing. This is common for my father to not see a thing. That's not to say he didn't have his fair share of bad times including being shot in the leg. I am telling you this because even after the horrors of war my father can still see the good side in everyone. He believes very strongly that you make the best of where you are.
I am very proud of my father. For all my father has been through in his life he has taught me that there is always an upside that no matter how bad you feel about yourself you are a worth while person. As a child he would always sit me down and say "tell me all the good things about yourself". The paragraph below is an email sent to me by my father. I think he is a fantastic writer and a welcome voice of hope.


There are negative influences all around, but you don't have to allow them to control you. There are disappointments which regularly come along, but you don't have to allow them to discourage you. There are lots of temptations, but you don't have to let them distract you. There are plenty of excuses, but you don't need to let them stop you. You can decide to be discouraged by the setbacks, or you can decide to be motivated even more. It's your decision. You can decide to give up when the obstacles seem overwhelming. Or you can decide to persist and grow stronger. You can decide to let anger, envy, frustration and bitterness drain your energy. Or you can decide to move beyond them into a more productive state. You can decide to let your fears stop you cold. Or you can decide to let those fears and concerns prepare you to move forward. You can decide to bury your dreams down deep inside where they'll never see the light of day. Or you can decide to follow those dreams by doing whatever it takes. You can wish and talk about what you want from life. Yet what you actually end up with depends on the decisions you make as you live each moment.
Love, Dad

Thanks dad, I love you too.

Please click on the words Screaming Eagles and have a look at this famous infantry.

Budding Artist

Rose has become quite and artist. The picture on the right is a drawing Rose made while watching the Higglytown Hero's last night. I think it looks just like Ubi! This picture wasn't even drawn on my walls a definite step in the right direction!

my nightmare

I have declared war on my family. They haven't done anything evil or wrong. I am on code red. Rose's best friend has lice. Please whisper this I don't want it getting around. I remember being terrified when I had lice as a child. I wasn't the only one who paniced. My aunt took it the hardest. She wouldn't come anywhere near us for days. I am pretty sure she is still going to counseling for the ordeal. My mother and grandmother went through my sister and my hair inch by inch with a tiny comb. I at the time had hair down my back. It took hours to go through it. Then next day having lived through the ordeal my sister announced our condition to the neighborhood. I could have killed her. So I have now gone through my own tiny families heads like a crazed baboon crawling all over both Liams and Rose. I found nothing. My head still itches. Liam is enjoying himself he likes being picked over. So for the next few days I will be combing through everyone's heads until I feel I have conquered this!

Perpetual motion

Okay this just looks like something from a horror film!

XTC Skylarking

I thought I would stir up controversy by printing the lyrics to XTC's Dear God. I have always like this song. I like it because I think it adds a perspective to how some feel about the way that God "treats" people. The song to me says Dear God why aren't you listening? People are suffering so now I don't believe in you. I feel that God speaks sometimes in thunderous yell and sometimes I think it is as quiet as a whisper. Read the lyrics and tell me what you think.


"Dear God",
hope you got the letter,
and...I pray you can make it better down here.
I don't mean a big reduction in the price of beer
but all the people that you made in your image,
see them starving on their feet 'cause they don't get enough to eat from God,
I can't believe in you
Dear God, sorry to disturb you, but... I feel that I should be heard loud and clear.
We all need a big reduction in amount of tears
and all the people that you made in your image, see them fighting
in the street 'cause they can't make opinions meet about God,
I can't believe in you
Did you make disease, and the diamond blue?
Did you make mankind after we made you?
And the devil too!, don't know if you noticed,
but... Your name is on a lot of quotes in this book,
and us crazy humans wrote it,
you should take a look,
and all the people that you made in your
image still believing that junk is true.
Well I know it ain't, and
so do you, dear God, I can't believe in I don't believe in
I won't believe in heaven and hell.
No saints, no sinners, no devil as well.
No pearly gates, no thorny crown.
You're always letting us humans down.
The wars you bring, the babes you drown.
Those lost at sea and never found, and it's the same the whole world 'round.
The hurt I see helps to compound
that Father, Son and Holy Ghost is just somebody's unholy hoax,
and if you're up there you'd perceive that my heart's here upon my sleeve.
If there's one thing I don't believe
in
it's you....


I have the song on an MP3 if you would like to hear it.

Dear God......

A true story that happened just last night during prayer time

Mommy: Dear God, please help Rose to sleep through the night and not crawl into bed with me.

Rose: Don't tell him that! Then he won't let me in your bed.

And so it goes.....