Sunday, August 20, 2006

Job description: Mother

What other job in the world ask of its employees to:

1. Stay up for 72 hours straight all the while smiling

2. Demands perfection (but never gets it).

3. Asks that you hold your hand out to catch throw up and then comfort the ill by saying its okay baby just throw up on me.

4. Asks that you agree to take daily verbal abuse from a cranky person shorter then your knee

5. Demands that you be willing to drive at a moments notice on E with 14 weeks of snacks and toys piled up in the back seat.

6. Expects you to want to wipe someone else's ass!

7. Asks that you work 24 hours a day 7 days a week 365 days a year including holidays and vacations without pay!

8. Expects that you will be slave labor for the rest of your employment or death which ever comes first.

9. Last but not least on the day you are employed (conception) until your death you will never see one days worth of pay, a big enough thank you worthy of all you have done, or manual to let you know how your doing.

What other job in the world will you ever know unconditional love?

Erma Bombeck:
The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a mother must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Lovely, friend! Hello from Sarasota, FL!