adopting tears

Tonight I feel like I'm adopting tears.  I swear everyday something comes up that makes me lose hope then something else comes along to give it back.  No two days are the same.  Today it was one biological kid does not increase your wait time goes from 18 months to 3 years.  I know it is worth the wait but it's the fear that makes me question.  Questions like what if we go the infant adoption route and we NEVER get picked what if we go the foster to adopt route and we foster a child who hurts one of my biological children.  I am taking big breaths and waiting for inspiration, guidance and above all HOPE.