Sunday, November 16, 2008

why why why?

Why, Why, Why?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with
hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' It isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
Why is it that you never hear father-in-law jokes?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
And, on a side note...
The statistics on sanity show that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you!

3 comments:

EJ said...

Questions like:
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? reveal a profound lack of understanding of evolution/biology. Try reading Full House: The Spread of Excellence from Plato to Darwin by Stephen Jay Gould. He explains the basic concepts very well.

Anonymous said...

yeah right comment from ej -me

Cap'n John Morgan said...

Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Is there another word for thesaurus?
Why isn’t palindrome one?
Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?