Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Society of the Ninja


We have a ninja in the house! I know how alarming this can be to you, but we have grown accustom to our nighttime intruder. The ninja is quiet and stealthy and can move on tip toes across the floor, up the stairs, and into our room. The ninja is so good she can climb in between Liam and I without us noticing. We believe this intrusion is occurring between 2 and 4 am but we can't be too sure. You would think a small wiggling body would alarm us but we have adapted to this evening ritual. She curls in sleepily, nudging out the current occupants, and relegating us to the far corners of the bed. We oblige by teetering on the edge gripping with toes and fingernails to the last vestiges of the sheets just so our little ninja can be comfortable. In the morning I am always a little surprised to see her lying peacefully in the middle coveting all the blankets stretched out happily dreaming. I like to take these quiet moments and ponder my current situation like when did I give up my rights to the bed? Then I think why did we agree to this ridiculous scheme but then I stop thinking and tip toe out of bed and let sleeping ninjas lie. Shuuu....

Because I say so....

why ( P ) Pronunciation Key (hw, w)adv.
For what purpose, reason, or cause; with what intention, justification, or motive: Why is the door shut? Why do birds sing? conj.

The reason, cause, or purpose for which: I know why you left.

Usage Problem. On account of which; for which: “The reason why [regular verbs] are called regular is that we can predict what all the other three forms are” (Randolph Quirk).


Why ask why? Such a simple and terrible question. Those tiny words can cause my eyes to see red and my brain to swell. Why, because I'm the mother and I said so (again). Why? Because, maybe I don't have the answer to that question and I'm driving and if I take the time to turn around and smack you, we'll crash, that's why. Why has that question gone from sweet and endearing to obnoxious and frustrating? When she was young we thought to ourselves, "wow" she just loves to learn isn't that wonderful? Now I want to scream and cry just please be quiet and let me drive. I don't know why they chose red for the stop sign. I don't know why she's wearing green. I don't care why that man is standing on the corner. Why must you ask me so many questions when I am sitting on the toilet? Why must you know exactly why I am cutting the celery that way? Why can't I do it like Meemaw? Why, why, why? Herein lays the true reason behind my Psuedo Tumor Cerebri. My daughter's incessant questions drove my brain to swell in retaliation. BECAUSE I SAID SO, now please leave me alone!

disclaimer: I am a lovely mother really. Why do I think this? Because I say so!

Monday, February 27, 2006

Insomniac

"Have a glass of warm milk on me."

No, really! I am not sleeping, but someone should. So why not you? Have a glass of memories, warm and familiar and sleep soundly tonight free of charge. Its on the house.
--morgan

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Wish You Well





"Wish You Well". Bernard Fanning is an Australian artist and I am in love! Click on the link below and then listen to what we Ozzies are jammin to! "Wish you Well" is sweeping the land down under.

http://music.ninemsn.com.au/artistfeature/default.aspx?aid=143

Juggling to the extreme

Click on big finale

Friday, February 24, 2006

Sometimes I just don't ask

Millie: Hey, Rose.

Rose: Yah?

Millie: I farted.

Rose: Yah?

Millie: Can you smell it?

Rose: Yah.

Millie: Does it smell.

Rose: Yah.

Millie: Hmmmm, good.

Conversation between two little girls while on a road trip.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

addicted to bubbles

How something sweet and inocent can become...


Sinister
Please don't let what has happened to this child happen to yours. Just say NO to bubble eating. Leads to scrunched up eyes and a terribly long tongue.
Friends don't let Friends do Bubbles!

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

poetry in motion


Pieces

If I could change the world I would.
If I could wash away pain and frustration I would.
If I could change your memories to nothing
but sweet wind blowing calmly through your brain I would
If I could take your pain and mold it into something beautiful I would
But then what would you be?
Who would you be?
You are made up of parts
parts I don't understand
Parts hidden deep lonely lurking
you are parts made into a whole
you are nothing with out the pieces
Pieces of anguish, pain, loneliness, joy
If I could wash it all away with a gesture of goodwill I wouldn't
You
You who I love
You who are whole
You with your pieces crumbling
You with your life
love
If I could wash away the memory of you I wouldn't
I couldn't
rest sweet one, you who are pieces
Pieces of a whole

Monday, February 20, 2006

I am weak


Yes, you heard me right. I am incredibly weak. I am sitting here with a can of Salt and Vinegar Pringles pondering my belly button. So round so profound so great to contemplate! Why on earth would I be doing such a strange thing? Well, because it's so big and so...there.
Belly buttons are interesting things. They just sit there doing nothing of consequence and yet they are so necessary, so expressive... and so unique. (mine is an innie with a left tuck and a smooth base, thanks for asking...) I have discovered a great love for my little round friend.
If you ask nicely in our house, Liam will make his belly button talk for you. It's really a gas. The first time he did this Rose nearly fell off her chair in terror. Obviously daddy's warp sense of humor went over her curley head. Who'd have thought a 6 month old could be so scared of a belly?
Me, I love 'em. Sometimes those round little caves grow interesting things like dirt or lint. Now that's fascinating. Lint. Don't you just love the word? Let it roll off your tongue; L I N T. Wouldn't you like to use that in your everyday conversations? "Hey, I love that sweater! Is it made of lint?" Think of all the possiblities.
My little cave is cute and sweet and I shall have it forever. Sometimes I can't see my tiny friend like when my other body parts are a bit bigger than they should be. These are the times I miss mi amigo. Like when I sit back with bag of (fill in the blank) and think fondly of my hidden companion laying dormant somewhere close by. So please take a moment to roll your fat around and give your little button a poke!

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Liam doing what he likes best


Brad took this picture while they worked on Adi's car.

Short story by Prem Pitts family friend

The story you are about to read is funny. Real Funny. It is written by Prem Pitts. If you like this story you can get a copy of one of his fabulous books under my links section.

Flight Captain Gormley Plingbatt-Snopes

…….was reading a comic, when the radio crackled into life. Gormley sighed; now he would never know how Little Willy Woozer and His Magic Underpants had overcome his arch-nemesis, Too Much Poo. But it was 1943 and the Jerries would insist on their war.

“Captain, C for Harold calling, C for Harold. Captain, do you read?”
Gormley flipped the switch to reply to “Dyslexic” Jones in the adjacent aircraft. “I was bloody well trying to, Jones. What is it now?”
“Three Fokkers are on your tail, Captain-”
“I’ve told you about that kind of language, Jones.”
“But Captain, they’re coming in at ten o’clock.”
“Idiot!” stormed Gormley, “It’s not even eight yet.”

Suddenly both wings of Gormley’s plane disintegrated and the plane plummeted downwards. Gormley realized he was done for - his parachute was on the other side of the blazing fuselage.

“Oh Lord!” cried Gormley, anguished. “Save me! Not for myself, but an innocent animal. My dear mother suffers from Rabid Halitosis and is unable to feed Tabby, our beloved cat. Should I fail to return, the beast will be dead of starvation within a week.”

The Deity chose to remain silent. However, Gormley’s plea did strike a chord in a most unlikely spot: the bosom of The Author, a miserable, depressive sort of fellow who spent his life denigrating those with more literary talent than himself. Somehow, his stony heart was touched.

“Oh, why not!” he muttered, and, with his usual plethora of typos and misspellings, wrote: “Fortunettly for Gormmley, his faithfull batman, Robin, had pakked a spare parashoot.”

“Thank you, thank you!” cried Gormley. However the parachute was not needed, as at that very moment the plane crashed.

Perhaps the Dieties had heard Gormley. He was in fact returning from bombing the Zonderbaum Feather Mattress Factory. (British Intelligence had ascertained that a sleep-deprived Army is vulnerable; thus, all mattress factories in Germany were Allied targets.) As a result, the field in which Gormley crashed was fifty feet deep in feathers.

The smell of burning feathers was choking. Gormley leapt from the plane to realize it was actually a German Buddhist goose that had doused itself in petrol and set itself alight as a protest against the factory conditions.

“Food, water, shelter," muttered Gormley, retrieving the burnt goose remains. “Travel only by night."
His survival training sprang into operation. By careful reconnaissance he was able to calculate that, due to lack of daylight, it was probably night. Thus, with a heart full of noble purpose, he struck off across the fields.
He was never seen again.

Sixty years later, historians have pieced together Gormley’s last days.
Medical tests conducted by a German doctor in1943 showed indisputably that Gormley had actually died on impact. It was only his steely resolve to save Tabby that had kept him going. However, he had begun to smell so badly that the locals had insisted on giving him a decent burial, handcuffed and shackled, with a stake driven through his heart. The location of his grave is lost.

Sadly, as Gormley predicted, poor Tabby died of starvation, drawing a curtain across one of the most poignant of wartime stories.
Oh, yes, Mrs. Plingbatt-Snopes replaced Tabby with a donkey.

Friday, February 17, 2006

hold me closer tiny dancer...




Rose loves purple and purple loves Rose!

Sesame Street sing along

How many cats can you find in this picture?


One of these things is not like the others one of these things just doesn't belong...

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

chewing the fat...


I must be the only person in the world who starts a weight loss program that includes going to the gym twice a week and loses no weight. No I mean it I have lost nothing not one pound, not and inch, nothing. I go to the gym faithfully. I do cardio as well as weight training every other time. I walk on my off days not as religiously as I would like but far more than I have in the past. I try to watch what I eat and I don't eat junk after 7:30 and still my weight won't budge not an inch. I must have no metabolism at all. So here I am upping the anti again. I will now go to the gym on Saturdays as well making it three nights a week at the gym. I am also going to start on protein shakes for mid day snack as well as portion control and fat counting. I will also try walking 5 out of the 7 days in the week. Why am I telling you all this? Because I want held accountable for my actions. Because I am weak and I am sure to fail without support. So I am writing this in the hopes that you will send prayers and well wishing in my direction. Pray for the only person in the world with out a metabolism!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Something to make you laugh!



















Okay I find this funny

Gee they have made them very affordable these days

Insipid Cupid


Happy Valentines Day may the short fat baby of love hit you square in the ass!

Do you dream in code?


Dreaming in Code

I am sitting here if front of Wills computer watching Moya eat her after school snack. I am obsessing. What me obsess? Never! I have now caught Moya's cold. Not exactly caught it, more it seems to be creeping and smothering me like a large wet wool blanket. My neck is achey and my toes are bleak and my nose has run off with my lips and are now happily raising a family in North Dakota. Not to mention I feel dramatic. Not exactly abominable, not yet at least that should come tonight when I get a chance to rest and really maul over the illness. Isabella is yelling at me to pay attention to her. Its been 3 seconds since I last pet her and she is feeling needy. The backyardagains is blaring in the back ground and Moya is shouting her response at the appropriate moments. But here I sit pondering my blog. I am thinking its time for a change. I haven't decided if I will just start another blog or completely overhaul the current one. I have big ideas stirring in my mind. They keep me up at night pondering fonts and side bar colors all in HTML code. If you have never dreamt in code you haven't truly lived. I think I am going to move this into the realm of my own personal trek through life. I will still be printing photos and writing about my family but I think I want to work towards a more coherent blog something that has uniformity. Give me a week and you should see some changes. If you have any comments or suggestions please feel free to leave them in the comment section of the current blog. I also like money you could leave me big bundles of money!

Monday, February 13, 2006

Sick Day


Today was Rose's first sick day. She bore it well. My poor baby was up all night with a runny nose and a fever. Poor little one kept us up all night. She really wanted to go to school this morning but still had a fever so we kept her home. We had to tell her that school was canceled today so that she wouldn't get up set. So she got a bath and was dressed in footy PJ's. We played candyland twice and Rose rested most of the day. She drank lots of juice and water and even had soup for lunch. I felt bad for her feeling so ill but I was glad to have her home. I missed my little girl. Right now daddy is putting her down for bed and we all hope she will sleep through the night. As you can see from the picture she has a rash under her lips and her nose is raw and read. You can also tell at the time she still had a fever but was enjoying making jewelry with Mommy.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

I can tolerate you!


Go Home

Well let me tell you if you're feeling alone,
Instead of whining and moaning,
Just get on the phone,
tell her you're coming home
If you need, you should be there
If you scream in your sleep,
or collapse in a heap
And spontaneously weep,
then you know you're in deep
If you need her, you should be there
Go Home

There's nothing better than affairs of the heart
To make you feel so good then tear you apart
Make up your mind and stick it out or start again
You can't imagine what an effort it takes
When you make a mistake
And you know in the wake that a heart's going to break
If you need her, you should be there
If you're flummoxed and flushed
And your heartbeat is rushed
Then get out of the slush,
tell your dog team to mush
If you need her, you should be there
Go Home

If you think of her as Joan of Arc
She's burning for you, get your car out of park
If you think of her as Catherine the Great
Then you should be the horse to help her meet her fate
If you need her, you should be there
Go Home

You can't believe it,
but it's true
She's given everything to you
Now take a moment to be sure
Before you give it all to her
Well now you're thinking that it's over at last,
All your woes in the past
But you've got to be fast; put your foot on the gas
If you need her, you should be there
so now you're out from under the gun
And it's over and done
I won't spoil all the fun but if you ever wonder
She'll be there if you need her
Go Home

If you're lucky to be one of the few
To find somebody who can tolerate you
Then I shouldn't have to tell you again
Just pack your bags and get yourself on a plane
If you need her, you should be there
Go Home

If you need her, you should be there
Go Home

Today I looked over at my husband and thought to myself yah I could be with you for another 5o years. We still drive each other crazy and well sometimes I want to slap him silly. If you know Liam you know he moves really, really, slow. So slow in fact that I call him The Slug. I am thinking of having a shirt made with "The Slug" printed on it and a slug dressed like a super hero put on the back! If you know me you know I move really fast. I believe that everyone should move as fast I do. But alas I married a slug so sometimes I have to get into the slow lane and wait for him to move over. But this made me think of the song "Go Home" and the lyrics If you're lucky to be one of the few To find somebody who can tolerate you ... and I thought yah not a bad plan. So I say to you if you find someone who can tolerate you well don't let them go! There maybe no one else who can handle you and your weird idiosyncrasies! Happy Hunting if you are still single.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Question for you


what's in your refrigerator?
Anything fun anything growing in there?
Anything repopulating?
So what's in your refrigerator? I have a chicken nugget wrapped in a paper towel that has been lovingly stored in a tupperware bowl. I think it has been in there for weeks. The person with the most interesting thing living in there fridge will get something special sent from Down Under. So take a picture, post a comment, and see if your the winner of the grossest fridge!
Oh come on now! I can't be the only creating experiments in the Fridge!

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Dora The Explorer


I think we are doing our children and our selves a great disservice. I have noticed that on Sesame Street and Dora the Explorer they always repeat themselves not a couple of times but over and over and over again. I understand the learning through repetition but this is ridicules . Our children are not stupid nor are they deaf. Now say back pack, back pack, say back pack, say back pack. Damn you Dora we get the idea, stop yelling at me!

Rose now expects me to repeat everything 5 times before she will do what is asked of her. "Rose get your pajamas" now please repeat this four more times for quality assurance. Maybe if I start saying everything in a high pitch sing song voice she will listen. Next time I need to get my point across I will start jumping up and down and put on a bright outfit to really drive home my point that I really do want the blocks picked up now. Perhaps I will even start selling things to her while she eats her breakfast. " Rose for a limited time you too can wear your white socks with a plaid dress if only you will eat your breakfast before this special offer expires." Please now speak directly into your child's face, Hold your breath and wait for them to stare blankly. If your lucky they may even blink.

It doesn't seem to matter how slowly I speak, its just not making it past her ear lobes. "R O S E pleeeease passss theeee sallltttt!" What more can I say or do? I am running out of ideas. I often lament that talking to her is like speaking to a brick wall. I think I would get a better response from the brick and mortar.

She is so remarkably good at ignoring me that at three months of age everyone believed her deaf. The poor child would stare off into space not comprehending a word I spoke. I know this all very sad. We even had to have her hearing tested only to be told shes not deaf shes ignoring you. Yes my three month old was (on purpose) ignoring every word I spoke. What you don't have this problem? Then please let me repeat myself. My three month old was smart enough to figure out that if she ignored me I would act like an idiot to get her attention (like a monkey on a string). So I leave you with this question how often do you have to say your child's name for them to respond. I think my record is 5 times in one sitting.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Gonna be a bear

My lovely girlfriend Kim sent this to me! Love you Kim!

I thought this was fun

You scored as Psychology. You should be a Psychology major!

Theater

100%

English

100%

Linguistics

100%

Journalism

100%

Anthropology

100%

Psychology

100%

Sociology

100%

Art

83%

Dance

75%

Philosophy

75%

Biology

67%

Chemistry

50%

Mathematics

50%

Engineering

33%

What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with QuizFarm.com

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Look out school here comes Rose

Rose at dinner after a hard day at school
Snack Time!
picked KFC for her special dinner!
On the playground at KFC
So ends Rose's first day of school

To view these photos in order go 4 posts down and work your way up to the top.

Rose did great. She got to be line leader wich made her very happy. She didn't even want to leave when the day was done. We think she is going to love going to school!

At School


Family pic after school.
Rose and her new friend. Ro's a bit short!
Daddy walking his little girl home from school!
Rose's first painting done at school!

School Days

Can I play too?
Rose at her desk

Rose's Locker
Rose and her teacher